A LETTER FROM J-RAD


Dear Greg,

My guy!!

Dawg, did you forget how to kickflip??
 
I saw you at the city council meeting yesterday dude. Asking for the Paul Walker Memorial skate park to close? ‘Cause of CoViD?? Fucking lame.

I had to hit you up. 

You used to nail the ‘flip bro! And your vert was nasty!! Your board rotated butter smooth every time. I kept chazing the kickflip until you taught me to stomp harder with my back foot on the grip mid-roto. The courtyard behind home room was our spot. But, when Perry told the 8th grade you had big ass nipples and a super wack mole on your back, you stopped meeting us back there before math with Mr. G. My throat gets all tight when I remember that day. Perry was a dick bro. I was a bit corny too with all the nicknames. Nipplicious. Big Molely Man. McMole. But Jessica Kringle always laughed and she and I were making out behind Petco at the time, so.

Are you having fun these days? Your eyes have big bags now and look squinty and red. I tried to catch you after the town hall, but you were yelling into the phone, something about a leak in your sink and a Plumber and a mortgage payment and how you were going to miss Hannity. Everything kosher bruh?

I want to skate with you again dawg!! I am teaching a camp of kids to skate this weekend. I just got a gnarly knee replacement, but there are vids all over YouTube of me sending it off the quarter pipe! This weekend, the campers and I are going to rip the 10 stair at Welch Elementary, just like old times man. One little newbie shredder, Leo, has a steezy ass ollie dude. Reminds me of you. Even though I called you The Nipple Prince, I thought you were the capital L Legend my dude. Back in middle school, I copied your swag. I practiced flicking my board up just like you when we were in front of the gym where Jenna, Marissa and their friends sat. I went to Footlocker and I copped the same gum sole Nike’s you wore. I loved how you screamed PENIS louder than even Rick when we waited for the light to change coming back from the Circle K on Wednesday mornings.
 
I looked you up on the LinkedIn dude. You got hella corporate! You probably have a rollie-chair. You like internal audit and tax finance? Sounds sick, I guess. But, from the way your face droops and all the unchill vibes you were spreading at the city council meeting last night, maybe the corporate thing is bogus. I think you should be Vice President of kickflips again bro! I bet you will smile more. Imagine next month on Halloween okay. You are on your front pathway, kickflipping it up, wearing a vampire costume. Wouldn’t that be righteous man!? You would be a super good vampire too ‘cause you are pasty and your veins pop out all crazy.
 
Hope you are staying well my guy. I am worried about you. It was wack to see you being such a nerd at city council. I thought you were one of us. You were acting more like a boner than the Nipplodeon I remember.
 
Anyway bro, keep it solid. Toss me the follow on the gram. @VoltronMcSpeeder. Forsure want keep in touch.
 
The boi,
J-RAD