Racist middle aged woman stunned after Facebook post read by intelligent human

Racist middle aged woman stunned after Facebook post read by intelligent human On Wednesday afternoon, Hellena Webber posted on Facebook, “Do nothing protesters made me late for my hair appointment again!”   

“It was Wednesday. For me at least,” Webber told reporters, “But my world exploded when that broad infected my post with intelligent thoughts.” Reporters learned ‘that broad’ was Ashley Brodrick, a certified ‘intelligent thought haver’. A neighbor, who requested unanimity (we assume he meant anonymity?) said, “As soon as Ashley dislike-reacted the post, I got nervous. She often comments on my posts with intelligent thoughts as well. She’s very dangerous.”  

Neighbors watching Brodrick deliver all these intelligent thoughts in the comment section called 911, fearing Webber's brain may explode, thus lowering property values. 

As authorities left the scene, Webber, covered in a foil emergency blanket, responded to journalists. “Of course I didn't actually read the dumb broad’s comments! I kept asking Siri what certain words meant. Like bigotry? I speak english lady, I am not a puhude! Anyway, I started screaming when her comment got more likes than my original post.”  

Vegas placed odds Webber reads one book, on actually anything, at 4000/1.